Sunday, November 15, 2015

So much to say

I don't know where to begin as so much has happened the past week, and past couple months...there's too much to lay down that is all quite exciting and profound to me amidst the trials and tribulations.

But I will say that the last 3 days have been some of the greatest and joyful in a while.  Everything that has happened the past 3 days cannot be of mere coincidence.  I know without giving an explanation that this all seems ambiguous and trifling, but I can say without a doubt in my mind that I know God has had a hand in it all.

On a random note:  a thought just came that it is weird how the Western culture accepts everyone so easily - drugs, drinking, homosexuals, having an abortion, etc.  While I am not saying any of that is necessarily good or bad, why is it hard for the Western society to accept introverts or reserved people with the same "open arms"?   I do feel the invisible backlash that hardly anyone brings forward.  Precisely because the reserved are not always keen on speaking out that this issue is kept mum...

It's the personality of a person that we are not capable of changing.  I hate the word "shy".  I hate being called that word, I hate using it.  I was born that way.  As much as that is hard for many people to understand, it is innate and there's only so much one can do to change their personality.  I have overcome a lot of it.  I don't mind public speaking as much as I used to - I'm a lot more comfortable speaking to peers in a classroom than in a business setting though.

But I feel society's pressure to be an extrovert - to wear your heart on your sleeves and not be afraid of opening up or speaking out.  If only I were born with a big personality life would be a little easier...

Fuck it all.  I am who I am.  I've still got growing to do, but I am more comfortable in my skin over the past couple of years than I have ever been.

Ultimately, I am a blessed soul.  Thank God for this life I have been given.  Even though I am fearful of the uncertain, I am not completely lost...and I am never alone.

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