It's so easy to revert to a state of negativity and self pity. It's easy to covet, to desire something or someone - and regarding the latter, I'm not just talking about sex (as it seems everyone would jump to this conclusion). I really mean wanting someone to put their arms around you when you are feeling down, someone who understands you, loves you, and wants to be with you for who you are.
Amongst all things, I don't know if I am ready or willing to be in another relationship right now. It's something I want, and I am afraid of waiting years before I find "the one", but I am trying to learn to be happy on my own. Independent enough to sustain the confidence I have in myself, but not too independent or too confident that I close myself off to the world thinking "I do not need a man".
I guess I'm afraid that I will eventually be too used to being alone that I don't want anything or anyone to burst my bubble. I'm afraid of being closed-minded as the years go on.
Stupid fears, I know. But I am well aware of my little thoughts.
Nevertheless, I am glad that people think of me as a happy person. Through the ups and downs, through the trials and tribulations, I only hope that through God I can continue to keep my head up and my eyes towards the skies.
I am grateful for my friends who keep me in check when my emotions can get a little rowdy. I am one lucky girl.
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