I don't know if I can believe it's already been a month since my dad passed away. It seems like time keeps rolling on by without hesitation, but at the same time it feels like my dad has been gone for a while now. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about my dad in respect to the time that he's been gone.

I'm grateful for the people who've reached out and helped my family through this, and especially to my math professor who talked with me personally about what I'm going through as he has gone through this just last year (our dad's died just a year and a day apart). A couple weeks ago, before Thanksgiving break, he said to me, "Maybe one day you can tell me all the good things your dad has done for you". And I replied, "A lot. There are just too many things to say." But at the same time, there are no amount of words that can possibly describe how much my dad meant to me. There's just no way to say or describe a person - no words can even begin to encompass an entire being or the significance they hold in a person's life. No amount of words, no matter how you say it, can perfectly relay how much a person means to someone. Words just don't do a person's life justice. And cliches are just overkill. Nevertheless, I was extremely grateful that my teacher cared to inquire about the person that my dad was.

On a different note...yesterday one of my friends said I was acting like a child since I was standing on a spinning chair (he can be retarded at times), and my other friend replied, "She (referring to me) needs a boyfriend". I laughed because it reminded me of my dad and the exact response he gave when I told him that Bernice was PMS-ing (or when Bernice claimed I was PMS-ing). We liked to throw the whole PMS-ing thing back and forth whenever one of us was being grumpy -- which is very often actually.

To be honest, I do think about my dad every single day...but some days it comes to the forefront of my brain a lot more than other days -- and that's when it becomes a little unbearable. It's still an odd feeling...I feel like he's been gone for a while now, but I also feel like his presence is still here...as if he'll come back one day.

I miss my daddy.