So I'm continuing my blog about Oprah shows, one that was aired last week. It's about families or friends that are reunited by "The Locator", a man who is part detective part therapist and specializes in finding a long lost loved one. I would love to have that job, and I would LOVE to see his season 4 TV series "The Locator" airing March 3rd! (Yay, more TV for me!) So the first story was about a mom that wanted to find her foster daughter. Years ago the parents had a new addition to their family- a foster baby girl. For 7 years that was their family- mom, dad, and their daughter, until the mom gave birth to her own biological daughter. After that, social services came to tell the parents that there was a family who wanted to adopt the 7-yr-old girl. The parents, having no time to explain what was going on, reluctantly watched as their little girl was being dragged into a car. Incredibly, over 2 decades later, the now 32 year old clearly remembers that horrendous day. After all those years she vividly remembers crying hysterically thinking now that her parents had their own biological kid, she was not needed for her 'service'. It wasn't until the reunion that she finally understood what really went on. And you know what's sad? For security reasons, foster parents can't get in touch with their children once they've gone to another family.
Going on in a bit of a tangent, I've ALWAYS admired people who fostered or adopted children. I remember in 6th grade a classmate told me she wants kids when she's older, and I told her that I never want my own kids. As if she knew me better than myself she replied, "When you're older you'll change your mind." Not wanting to argue, I kept quiet. First of all, I was astonished that a 12 year old preteen already knew that she wanted to get pregnant and have children. Secondly, I don't know how in the world we got to that topic. Going further into a tangent, I recall a conversation in 3rd grade about sex. Me, a girl, and some boy got into that topic somehow. I clearly remember who they were, and it makes me laugh. I wonder how they are...maybe I should get "The Locator" to track them down. Haha okay, that was lame. So anyway, I totally understand why people want their own "flesh and blood" children. But honestly, children are children. And to quote Troy Dunn (the name of "The Locator" man) , who is a man full of wisdom,"Blood is NOT thicker than water. I don't know who came up with that, but people need to stop saying that. Who loves you when you need them- THAT'S your family." All my life I've been toying with the idea of adopting a child, or possibly more than one kid (like Angelina Jolie). A family of different races would be ideal.
Love knows no differences. No gender. No color. And no species.
So on to the next amazing story. A mom of 4 kids has terminal cancer and was said to only have 3-9 months to live. However, having felt like there was emptiness in her life for not having her father, she sought "The Locator". She told him the last time she saw her father was when she was 12 years old, and that her heart broke as she watched his car backing out of the driveway. After over 2 decades, daughter and father were reunited and misunderstandings were cleared. For all her life the woman never knew why her father never came in contact with her. The problem was...her dad went to the army, and after coming back, found out his wife ran off with another man and took his only child. He tried for years to find his daughter but no relatives would help. Although all those years were gone from the absence of her father, it is truly inspiring how now her father is with her every minute of her life. He accompanies her to every doctor visit, watches his grandson's baseball games, and embraces every moment he gets with his family. Seeing him cry during the interview gave no doubt in my mind that he loves his daughter. And what Troy Dunn ("the walking book of quotes") said, "There are three sides to a story- his, hers, and the truth", really stuck in my brain. Misconceptions can have heavy consequences. That detective/therapist man is really inspiring. He said he tends to be hard on fathers, because if they're dead-beat he won't reunite the family. He went on to say how he always tries to figure out whether or not the father was trying to find his child/family and why or why not. In this case, in this story, it was apparent that the father genuinely cared and loved his daughter throughout all those years.
It's disheartening how some people wait too long to find that distant person and in the worst case have no chance of reuniting because that person has passed away. And regardless if one was adopted or whatever, children want to know who gave life to them...just because they need to know. It doesn't mean their life with their foster/adopted parents went wrong. Some questions just can't be washed away with the passage of time.
I write these stories to share and pass on what I have learned. Some things should not be forgotten, and life should be lived as fully and overly content as possible.
"You can't find peace until you find all the pieces."
-Troy Dunn
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